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Item #: SCP-248

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-248 is kept in the personnel break room. Any personnel are free to use it provided they do not use it to cook non-food items. As with all microwaves, no personnel should place metallic items in SCP-248, as this is a fire hazard.

Description: Object is an Emerson brand microwave oven. Object appears to function as an ordinary microwave oven in that it cooks food for a time set by the user. However tests reveal that the device does not cook using microwaves, but through some other unknown means.

Any food item placed within SCP-248 is greatly enhanced in both nutritional content and overall flavor. The temperature of the food will change to that of optimum eating temperature and seems to remain at this temperature until the item has been consumed. Occasionally the temperature of the item is reduced, in order to achieve optimum food quality.

Although the device must be plugged in to function, it consumes very little electricity. The clock on the device has shown to keep time even when the microwave is not plugged in, though the time does not display.

Addendum: The following is a log of original items put in, cooking time, and the resulting product. Any personnel wishing to use the device should record their results.

Original item: Bowl of Campbell's instant tomato soup
Cooking time: Three minutes
Result: Bowl contents gradually changed from red to brown, becoming a hearty and filling soup containing beef and vegetables.

Original item: Chocolate chip cookie
Cooking time: Five minutes, thirty seconds
Result: Cookie gained mass and the number of chocolate chips gradually increased. Final product was a small chocolate cake with chocolate icing.

Original item: One cup of distilled water.
Cooking time: Two minutes
Result: Amount of liquid increased by 75%, cup grew to accommodate. Liquid appeared to be water but had a sweet taste. Testing revealed that it contained vitamins, minerals, protein, and caffeine.

Original item: One cup of distilled water
Cooking time: Twenty minutes
Result: Cup transformed into a plastic bottle with a label reading "Hyper Yum!" containing 24 oz. of clear liquid at 4 degrees Celsius. Liquid was sweet and tart. Testing showed it contained the exact recommended dietary allowance of nutrients for a person of average size and build, as well as caffeine and some herbal supplements. Agent ████ has suggested on several occasions that we attempt to market this drink.

Original item: McDonalds quarter pounder with cheese
Cooking time: Three minutes, twenty seconds
Result: Burger gained an additional patty, one slice of swiss cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Both patties were nearly twice as thick as the original burger's. Testing revealed that the burger's total fat and sodium content were nearly halved.

Original item: Plastic bowl of vanilla ice cream
Cooking time: Twenty minutes
Result: A banana split with vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream in ornate glass bowl, topped with chocolate sauce, whipped cream and cherry. Bananas were found to contain twice as much potassium than normal, and the whole dessert was found to be very low in fat and sugar.

Original item: Cup containing "the perfect drink" dispensed by SCP-294
Cooking time: One minute
Result: Timer display showed the words "OH GOd" and device did not turn on. Device did not function for several hours.

Original item: Can of live fishing bait
Cooking time: Five minutes
Result: Gummi Worms. Candies reported as tasting sweet, but with a slight meaty flavor.

Original item: Empty plastic plate
Cooking time: Three minutes
Result: An unidentifiable grayish substance appeared on the plate. Researcher believed the device was attempting to create food but did not have adequate time.

Original item: Empty plastic plate
Cooking time: Two hours
Result: Two fried chicken breasts appeared on the plate, along with coleslaw, and a buttermilk biscuit. Chicken and biscuit were warm but coleslaw was cold. Testing revealed that the entire meal was nearly fat- and sodium-free.

Original item: Expensive china plate, empty (kindly donated by Agent ████)
Cooking time: Five hours
Result: Duck dish containing sauces and seasonings never known to be used in human cuisine. Researcher stated that it tasted "French."

Original item: Stainless steel fork
Cooking time: Four minutes
Result: Fork produced sparks similar to the results of putting a fork in a normal microwave. Fork did not change in any other way.

Original item: Nike brand running shoe
Cooking time: Eight minutes
Result: Shoe was transformed into a thick, black, foul-smelling liquid within five seconds. Similar results have been produced when non-food-related items are put into the device. Personnel are not to attempt to cook non-food-items, and anyone who does so is responsible for getting the black goop out of the carpet.

Original item: SCP-807 (empty)
Cooking time: Three hours
Result: In light of SCP-807's effects, experiment was conducted in a sealed chamber, via remote. Resultant product was a large glob of lard. Testing indicates it to be normal fat, without either the usual improvment in nutritional value by SCP-248 or the attraction impulse generated by SCP-807.

Original item: Severed human hand
Cooking time: Twenty minutes
Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Quite delicious.

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