Item #: SCP-998
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Even in its current location (resting on the desktop of one Dr. ██████), SCP-998 is to be kept in a 30cm x 30cm x 30cm square glass display case. No other containment procedures need to be taken, as this object is considered harmless.
Description: SCP-998 (known commonly as: Tactical Gin and Tonic) is a glass, standing 12.7cm tall, of Gin and Tonic with three ice cubes fully submerged, and a slice of lime on the glass’ lip. However, by an unexplained coincidence, the mind of Brigadier General Sir Arthur F. Westershire, of the Royal British Military’s greatest minds, became fused to it the moment he passed away in 19██. Currently Westershire claims to be 114 years of age. The glass of Gin and Tonic has a low level psychic field, giving the mind of the Brigadier General sight, hearing, and a voice. The drink housed in the glass is made up of two (2) parts Bombay Blue gin and one (1) part Canada Dry tonic water.
Addendum: Any research personal interested in looking further into this SCP, should consult the attached two (2) documents: Document 998-1, and Document 998-2.
THE FOLLOWING IS AN AUDIO TRANSCRIPT DATED APRIL 9, 20██.
What sounds like Frank Sinartra’s Puttin’ on the Ritz is heard with a British accent.
Unidentified Soldier: SCP-998 you are ordered to ceasing singing!
SCP-998 (British Accent): I out rank you boy! Who are you to give me orders!?
Soldier: CEASE AND DESIST!
SCP-998: I will stop when I am giving proper conversation with an intellectual man from my neck of the woods! A Brit, or a Scot!
Soldier: This is ██████ ██████████, guarding SCP-998, he is demanding conversation with a Brit or a Scot…should I radio Dr. ██████?
The voice recording continues, but concludes with the transfer of SCP-988 to Dr. ███████’s office.
The official biography of Brigadier General Arthur F. Westershire [abridged version] w/ photo
Arthur F. Westershire was born in a small flat outside London, England in ████, and fought in WWI (earning his rank of Brigadier General) and then fought in the second World War, commanding scores of British Soldiers. IQ tests throughout his life, showed that he suffer from the Genius Syndrome, his IQ passing into the 200 range at times. He died at age ██, where upon his mind was transferred to a glass of Gin and Tonic.